God knew this and the last two weeks of sermons at our church have spoken to this deep need within me to get alone with God and get quiet; to remove every distraction in my life and my heart, to trust that even in my complete exhaustion getting up an hour earlier will be JUST what I need, to see that the very thing holding me back from feeling better was valuing feeling better more than I valued making the tough changes to take better care of myself.
So I did what I was dreading, what felt impossible: I sacrificed an entire hour of sleep. This may not seem like much, but to a mother of little kiddos rest is crucial. As soon as their feet hit the ground, I don't stop moving again until their bedtime. That's a lot of moving. My hubs kept pushing me to try getting up earlier to have that time for myself and for God. (He started it last week and it made a huge difference for him). So today I woke up at 6:30 and had a FULL 40 minutes to myself. I had time to read God's truth, to pray, to journal, to sit and be.
And when my little kiddo got up in his crib and started hollering for "maameeee", I was able to greet him with joy and a full heart instead of tiredness and regret of leaving my pillow so soon. Today was enough convincing for me that this is worth it and I will make it my new normal.
There is GOOD in the quiet.
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:21-26
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