Monday, July 29, 2013

...in the quiet

My life is busy and loud, as is the life of every mother. The day zips by before I get things done...and yet it drags and bedtime never seems soon enough. Since my hubs has started his job (in November) his work schedule has been unlike that of any other time in our marriage. His days have been LONG which makes our days LONG and last couple weeks it just really caught up with me. I was feeling worn thin. 
God knew this and the last two weeks of sermons at our church have spoken to this deep need within me to get alone with God and get quiet; to remove every distraction in my life and my heart, to trust that even in my complete exhaustion getting up an hour earlier will be JUST what I need, to see that the very thing holding me back from feeling better was valuing feeling better more than I valued making the tough changes to take better care of myself. 
So I did what I was dreading, what felt impossible: I sacrificed an entire hour of sleep. This may not seem like much, but to a mother of little kiddos rest is crucial. As soon as their feet hit the ground, I don't stop moving again until their bedtime. That's a lot of moving. My hubs kept pushing me to try getting up earlier to have that time for myself and for God. (He started it last week and it made a huge difference for him). So today I woke up at 6:30 and had a FULL 40 minutes to myself. I had time to read God's truth, to pray, to journal, to sit and be.
And when my little kiddo got up in his crib and started hollering for "maameeee", I was able to greet him with joy and a full heart instead of tiredness and regret of leaving my pillow so soon. Today was enough convincing for me that this is worth it and I will make it my new normal.
There is GOOD in the quiet. 

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks himit is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."     Lamentations 3:21-26

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